Maaaan, I love really great fabrics. I think this groom really nailed the whole "barn-Americana-retro" look.


By the way, during lunch I will finish working on the Save-the-Date tutorial. I have 1/3 of the draft typed out and can hopefully have it done by later today.

I don't want to open a can of worms (and I may hear a can opening right now...), but I keep chewing on the idea of the lack of diversity in the wedding blog world. I talked to my fiance about it yesterday and told him how an interracial couple was featured on A Practical Wedding and that there was a HUGE response of "finally!" or "yay!"

Now mind you, I am not here to discuss the "race" aspect (yet) -- but more of the business aspect. You know what gets you featured on the "big" wedding blogs? Your photography. You can have amazing little details, DIY, gorgeous dress, etc. -- but if your photography stinks, it will not represent your wedding well. Same with simple weddings -- you can have VERY little but gorgeously captured details -- and BAM! You are on. Obviously, the more unique (and more personalized details) -- the more likely you'll get featured. But that photography needs to be on point!

Speaking directly about the lack of African American/mixed couples featured on wedding blogs -- is it because there is less interest placed in photography? Because the bride can only do so much -- the photographer is the one "submitting" to these wedding blogs. Or are they submitting but not being published? I completely understand the disappointment because you can't necessarily "relate" to everything. I'm Latina and I'm not exactly represented either, BUT I have a "design" and "photography" mentality, so I relate more on the design rather than the personal aspect. Even then though, it's overwhelming because everything is so "perfect" and "ruffled" and "soft" and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh.

I wish I could hear everyone's opinion and thoughts -- but I have a feeling it might be too sensitive? What do you think? Cause seriously.... consider the photography business that is pretty much "directing/driving" the wedding blog world/business.

Remember I was thinking about this for my veil? (Keep in mind, I plan on adding a flower similar to this)



Well now she came out with this one and I think I am in love!! It's a little more expensive, but that's because it's not just the fabric. This would change my plans of putting a flower in my hair since the veil has the embroidered flowers. However, I feel more attracted to the volume of this veil...



What do you think?!?! Please vote!! The 1st or 2nd?!

[[ This is a series of summaries and personal "confessions" and opinions on "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman ]]

I have to start with the acknowledgments. Why? Because there were some key points that immediately caught my attention and made me want to continue reading this book.

Let me start with the main idea: "We must be willing to learn our spouse's [or insert partner/friend here] primary love language if we are to be effective communicators of love."

"People speak different love languages ... Most of us grow up learning the language of our parents and siblings, which becomes our primary or native tongue. Later, we may learn additional languages but usually with much more effort."

"In the area of love, it is similar. Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other."

Wow. Is that what has been wrong all this time? We become frustrated that we are "doing all we can" to show them love and even sometimes think they "take it for granted," when in fact -- we're speaking a foreign language to them!

Here is the last section that I love (summary):

"We have long known that in early childhood development each child develops unique emotional patterns. Some children, for example, develop a pattern of low self-esteem whereas others have healthy self-esteem. Some develop emotional patterns of insecurity whereas others grow up feeling secure. Some children grow up feeling loved, wanted, and appreciated, yet others grow up feeling unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated.

The children who feel loved by their parents and peers will develop a primary emotional love language based on their unique psychological makeup and the way their parents and other significant persons expressed love to them. Children who do not feel loved by their parents and peers will also develop a primary love language. However, it will be somewhat distorted in much the same way as some children may learn poor grammar and have an underdeveloped vocabulary. The poor programming does not mean they cannot become good communicators. But they will have to work at it more diligently than those who had a more positive model."

*The goods* (yikes! Talk about honesty...)

I consider myself in an "in between" model. I was raised by a single mother and this was an eye opening experience beyond my relationship with my fiance. Growing up, my mother became frustrated easily, criticized us a lot, and was very sensitive. I, growing up, was a pretty temperamental child. My mom yelled = I yelled. At the same time, my mom was incredibly supportive of my dreams and SUCH a proud mother. She always, always, always talks about her kids. Ask her. She will beam.

However, reflecting on my childhood and applying the way "love" was shown in my house, there are many things that I have taken into perspective. I realize how sensitive I am to criticism. In respect to my relationship, I became very defensive when Jose was critical of something that I did. He is a rational minded individual. At times when he would simply be questioning out of curiosity, to me felt like an interrogation and questioning of my motives (in a negative way). I then would become upset and answer irritated, to which then he would become defensive and ask why I was so upset. The funny thing is, I grew up as the "attitude" child that when I LIVE up to this "expectation," I become really upset = I encourage my stereotype. I think "ugh! I'm proving them right" and I get so upset at myself. But unfortunately, I am portraying a negative attitude because I dislike that Jose surfaced these emotions, when in fact, the only person to blame is myself.

My whole life, the relationships I was closest to surfaced my "attitude" -- the part of me that I battle with, trying to keep her in the closet. Unfortunately, that "attitude" is so closely tied to my language of love because of the criticisms I received so much as a child, it is bound to surface with the people that I love. Ask my family. Ask Jose. It's pretty retarded how defensive I get when I it APPEARS (key word: appears) that I am belittled, disrespected, or judged by the people closest to me. Why? Because my childhood was full of opinions and criticisms (negative) that I associate that with being "unloved."

This is just the beginning. I felt empowered when I read this chapter because there is logic to my behavior. What this means is that there is a solution. I thought "I can let go. How can I move past that?"

Next sections:
"Keeping the Love Tank Full"
"Falling in Love"

Then we start with the Love Languages -- #1 Words of Affirmation

I tried not to get caught staring at him. It's just that I was ... so attracted to him. Then he's gone. Just like that. In a train. Passing by on the street. At the grocery store. A glance at a shop's window.

This is what I thought of when I heard about "Missed Connections" via my daily read. I can think of a number of times that I visually connected with someone (when I was single ;) by eye contact. Actually, don't laugh at me -- but one time I even left him a note.

It was at the grocery store... and I was 17. I accompanied my mom's boyfriend and brother and was lagging behind them when we walked in. I saw "the boy" (who worked at the store) and he almost ran into a wall because we locked eyes. When I walked past him I decided to do the "look behind" to see if he was still looking. HE WAS! My face flushed and I turned my head back around quickly. Come on, I was 17 and he was incredibly attractive. I felt pretty, shy, embarrassed, self-conscious. All of that mess. After we picked up the groceries, EVERY lane we turned into I would wonder if he would pop up. I was so nervous, that I almost didn't want him to suddenly appear.

Anyway, after we checked out, he re-appeared near the bagging section. I, of course, was lagging behind my mom's boyfriend and brother. He then moved his arms into a "are you leaving?" and I was so nervous that I just gave this reluctant shrug of "what do I do?!?!" and ... left. What was I supposed to do?! Well, I couldn't shake it off that I made my brother go back with me the next day. Again, I was ridiculously shy (believe it or not -- my fiance would beg to differ) that I couldn't bear to go into the store so I made my brother find him and give him a note I wrote him while I waited in the car. How embarrassing to admit this! And ... well, that's it. I don't know if my brother found the right guy, I never saw him at the store again, and that... was my missed connection.

Consider that note delivered by my brother, my version of a Craigslist post back when I was 17. Artist Sophie of Missed Connections creates illustrations based on messages people leave about strangers they "connected" with and never saw again on Craigslist in New York.

Did you ever have one? Or even just an eye connection? Where did it happen?

No, I wasn't letting go of DiCaprio's loving grip nor was I drowning in the Atlantic. But I was deserted on the highway, finding ways to warm myself inside of a broken down car for THREE HOURS. Tres. Thankfully I was not alone...

Let me start the beginning.

I won't tell you about the beautiful WHITE Christmas I had in Texas, or my Christmas present, OR the most amazing ribs I have ever had in my life while in Memphis. This is my "wedding" blog, so I will tell you about the incident that happened on my way from Dallas to Houston for my "wedding" trip.

We left Sunday afternoon around 2 p.m. in relatively good, winter weather. I invited my brother to come along since Jose and I were already spending so much time with him anyway. I offer to drive and start struggling with sleep about an hour into the drive. Two hours later we're almost at empty and decide it's time to pull over. Jose picks me up a bag of "munchies" (which contains my favorite: hot cheetos!) and a huge bottle of water. Fortunately, Jose offers to take over, which I gladly accept and pass out on the backseat.

Thirty minutes later. 4:30 p.m.

I wake up to Jose and Vladi talking, with a slightly stressed tone. I blink and try to get my contacts to focus from my nap hangover and realize we're -- pulling over?! Oh crap!!! Jose got a ticket! UGH. He's going to be so angry.... I look behind me. No flashing blue and red lights? I see Jose push the hazard lights in and my brother flipping through a car manual. Hmm.. this is not good.

[[ Time out ]] As a quick re-cap, in this past year Jose has spent about $1,500 on his 98' Buick Regal from car mishaps. His low coolant light won't go off, and sometimes there are weird noises when we slow down. The likeliness of us having car problems driving from Atlanta -> Memphis (7 hours) -> Dallas, TX (6 hours) -> Houston, TX (4 hours) -> [eventually] Atlanta, GA (14 hours) = VERY, very likely.

[[ Time in ]]

Apparently the steering wheel started to become stiff and his temperature gauge was all the way to Hot. I slumped into my seat and sighed. After a call to his dad, Jose decides to "cool off" his engine. Unfortunately, when he inspects the engine one more time -- guess what he finds? A BELT. The belt tensioner broke!! I'm not car savvy, but I knew this was a HUGE problem when *I* could see the belt from the backseat!!! Jose's face was not a happy one and he looked at me and said "Get comfortable -- we're not going anywhere."


Jose tells my brother and I to get out of the car because although we're on the shoulder, we're on the highway and we don't want to risk someone hitting us. It's 4:40 at this point and still light out. The wind is picking up and I'm pretty chilly. We walk up this hill by a tree and wait while Jose calls his Allstate Roadside service.

He is on the phone ON HOLD for an hour!!! By this point, my brother and I are sitting on the grass, huddled, and I have my scarf around my neck and mouth. Guess what Alejandra is wearing? I'm referring to myself in third person to SCOLD myself. A DRESS with pantyhose!! Granted, I have a tank top under my dress, a leather jacket, scarf, and boots -- but the pantyhose are not blocking wind from sneaking up my dress. It's okay, there's still sun out.


After being on hold for an hour, they let Jose know they found a towing company only 4 miles away that will be picking us up. I ask Jose to move the car to the grass so we could at least take cover INSIDE the car. Jose and Vladi (my brother) get the car moved. But here's the hilarious part -- the windows in the front seat won't go up!!!!!! So while we graciously get to climb inside the car, there's a nice gust of wind invading our body heat via the front windows! Oh well, it's definitely better than outside. Plus, the towing company should be here soon.

Right around 6 p.m. it starts to get pretty dark. The towing company hasn't come, but we are okay because we start to play a card game. I'm starting to get pretty cold and ask Jose to let me use his laptop as heat. I pop open his Mac on my lap and we use it as light to play the card game "cheaters" (very fun FYI!). After almost an HOUR of waiting, we think "This is ridiculous" and call the towing company for the 3rd time.

Ahahahahahaha. Quick! Somebody feed that towing company OR Allstate the belt off Jose's car for lunch! Why? Because you are not going to BELIEVE what they did. After waiting an hour for that towing company, they come to tell us that Allstate ended up calling them to relocate to an accident that had just occurred and for some reason did not CALL US! (!!!!!) So here we were like freezing, retarded popsicles, playing a card game to pass "some" time without knowing that NO ONE was coming for us! The best part is that the towing company apologized and told us there was no way they could come get us. Now it's dark, we have no heat, the car battery is practically dead, and we have no towing company coming for us. The only thing we DO have is my cousin who lives in Houston, driving down to get us. Unfortunately, he is still ANOTHER hour away.

Jose is livid. I'm pretty upset too, but I'm just ready to rip Allstate a new one. After many phone calls with Jose's mom (who was so so so helpful and wonderful), we find a towing company that can come get us. Unfortunately, it will take them an hour. By now, Jose has pulled out my PJ pants, I put them on under my dress, have the laptop providing me some heat, and Jose joins my brother and I in the backseat for some body heat. I give my brother my laptop to give him some heat too and a granola bar I had in my purse b/c he's really hungry. We decide since we can't do aything else, we'll watch a movie. Jungle Book it is! However, before we started the movie, all of the heat coming from the laptop onto my legs made me need to pee REALLY bad. And since we were going to have to wait ANOTHER hour, I needed to go. NOW! I'm sure you don't want the details, but luckily there was a hill with trees around and luckily Jose had napkins in the car. Hahaha. At this point, I didn't even care if there were or weren't trees around -- I just needed to pee.


An hour later, the tow truck arrives! Twenty minutes later my cousin arrives and we all drive out to the nearby town to drop Jose's car off at the shop and drive 2 hours into Houston to my cousin's house. It took my feet about 30 minutes to defrost. I made myself some tea that night but the damage was done. I've had a hoarse voice for the past 2 days and last night it was pretty bad. I'm not "sick" but my throat was definitely affected by the cold wait.

Overall these past two days in Houston have been productive, and really enjoyable :) The breakdown was a pain, but now is just a hilarious memory of me, Jose, and Vladi all hanging out some more. The best part of this Holiday has been seeing my brother and Jose developing a closer relationship. The 2 men who mean the most in my life :) :) Though they sometimes are like two teamed up brothers against me! :P

Anyways... I'll tell y'all about the wedding details later! I gotta go meet with my Godmother and get ready later for New Year's.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

And isn't it funny how I still made time to take photos while we were broken down? :P

Guess what? I was proposed to... twice. By the same man, of course.

About 2 days ago, I almost wrote this on my blog: "World is whirling and I am not being the strong one...."

Take a seat again (another long one). I got some news a couple of days ago that made me glad I was sitting. So as some of you may know, my fiance is getting his masters and would be graduating this May. Our wedding is also this May and our plan was such: Ale moves to TX early to plan for wedding --> Jose graduates in Atlanta --> Comes to TX a week before wedding --> Ale & Jose get married --> Ale & Jose leave for Spain --> Ale & Jose return and move to Arizona or stay in TX depending on the job Jose takes.

SLAM THOSE BRAKES! Here's the irony. Jose was beginning to struggle with his thesis and would turn to me for encouragement and support. We talked about his struggle with sometimes giving up control to God and truly, truly trusting in him. About a week ago, Jose had a very difficult moment when he realized he was not going to be finishing his thesis. At the time, I felt really horrible for him -- but had no idea how this would directly affect me. I prayed for him, and I even spoke to him that this was God's way of saying "Well, if you have a hard time letting me drive, I'm strapping you to that passenger seat and making you trust me. You are just in for the ride and watch me drive us down this bumpy road that will lead you into something beautiful." Trust, baby... just trust.

Two days ago, I found out HOW this would affect me. After speaking with his academic advisors and his thesis advisor, Jose had two options. I won't bore you with the details, but the main idea is that there was no option for Jose -- he HAS to turn in his thesis. This means that he would have to enroll in SUMMER SCHOOL. Now you know how I am in the picture. In case you don't, let me tell you the part of the story that made me burst into tears. We would have to get married, hold off the honeymoon, return to Atlanta, Jose would finish school and I would wait. The thing is, I had planned to leave my job around April so I could have May to plan for the wedding, plus we were leaving for Spain for (hopefully) 3 weeks. The problem is that I have to ask my job now to let me take off for a month for the wedding because I CAN NOT plan this from Atlanta!!! If they don't let me take off for a month, I have to quit. I have to because I literally cannot plan the wedding from Atlanta and only leave the week before. I need to be in Texas for at least 2-3 weeks beforehand. Which then leaves me in a spot of -- what happens after we get married? Jose might be getting a job in Arizona so I have to hold off looking for employment for 3 months. But I can't live in Atlanta because Jose is still a student and couldn't technically "support" us, nor I if I don't have a job. But can you imagine us getting married and then separating, living in two different cities (if I move to TX w/my family until Jose is out) for our first 3 months as newlyweds?!?! Me married and living with.. my mom!!! Though only temporary... still not ideal.

The tears came from the stress of planning the wedding, the change of plans, the uncertainty, and of course the sadness of putting off the honeymoon. I couldn't finish the conversation because I knew I had nothing positive to say. When we got off the phone, I thought about my own words and how salty they were in my own mouth. "... You are just in for the ride and watch me drive us down this bumpy road that will lead you into something beautiful." I DON'T WANT to miss the honeymoon! I don't want the bumpy roads! Ha! Who is missing being in control?? Yeah folks, this bad driver. I was so mad because our summer and our plans were in the air. Our honeymoon was really out of the question and I hated the feeling. Jose let me take a full day without talking about it. Unfortunately, this only made me sad and tonight I mustered up the courage to face it. Plus, while I tried to ignore it.. it's all I could think about when I was with Jose.

When we spoke about the options, I had to face the reality that Jose would most likely have to stay in Atlanta. Period. I have to say this was God's action here... because every fiber inside of me wanted to say and feel "this isn't fair" ... yet I was able to set that aside to understand how bad Jose felt. I mean, he felt so guilty that he "caused" this sudden change/hold in our plans. I knew, of course, this was not something HE caused but a challenge God presented to us. Mind you, while this sounds very mature of me to say, I was definitely very selfish the first time Jose broke the news. I cried, threw a fit, and sulked. But something about tonight allowed me to set aside those selfish emotions. Plus, I began to calmly realize that this was not as serious as it felt when I first heard the news. Granted, this is still miserable for Jose to get married and STILL be working on this thesis he is dying to finish. But, honestly, we only have to wait about 3 months for our plans to go back to normal! I also have a strong feeling my job might actually approve of me leaving for one month. Let's hope so, because if they don't -- I will seriously have to be living away from Jose our first few months :( Unless of course we move in together and I find a temporary job for the summer to "get us by" until he graduates.

When I asked Jose if we could take a week off after the wedding he said "of course!" To which I said "Can we go somewhere close?" And he said "Baby, we can go anywhere in the U.S. you'd like." YAY!!! I think I want us to go back to Savannah because it will allow us to maximize the week off. How great is THAT?! I get to have 2 honeymoons!!! So I slipped my ring off and said "You have to propose to me again."

3 attempts by Jose to propose and some that I rejected:

1) During a conversation about owning a set of clothes, he interrupted and said "Speaking of owning, I would love to own you for-" STOP RIGHT THERE. That's what I said. I told him just because I said yes the first time didn't cut him slack for the second proposal.

2) Second attempt: Somehow the topic of "captain" came up, and he tried in a particularly sloppy manner to run his hand through my hair and say something to the effect of "I'll be your captain if--" NO!!! We laughed..

Third time: We were in my room and he was on my bed while I was standing up beside it yapping about something. I looked down and my ring was suddenly on the bed. The funny thing is that I stopped in mid-sentence and I gasped and said "Hey! That's my ring!" And he smiled and said "It is..." and he stretched his arms out for a hug. So I dove in for a hug and curled my feet around his (I guess more like my feet around his ankles because he is a freak GIANT!), and he held up the ring and said to me "This use to belong to someone very special. She meant everything to me. She asked me to give it to someone who was better than her."

This might make you roll your eyes, but when he said that -- I took it to another level! It symbolized to me that I AM a different person. That I AM better than who I was because I trusted God in this situation and he helped me to NOT put myself first. So of course, like the first time, I said yes :)

I'm sorry if any of this made you throw up a little, but well... it can't be as bad as when I choked at the Cuban restaurant last night. No seriously, talk about scaring the woman who asked "More water?" Me: "Ye--CHOKE!! COUGH COUGH!!" I inhaled a TINY piece of meat that almost made me throw up my delicious dinner and the woman who asked me for more water, instead of making sure I was okay, got so freaked out that she RAN AWAY! I played mind games with my brain "PLEASE, just let this ONE little piece of meat go down my wind pipe. Come on! Just one!" Nope. I was a choking mess.

Anyway, who knows what will happen this summer. But guess what is still happening in May? Our wedding.