Imaginale Design
So let me tell you the slightly irritating mishap that occurred upon picking up my wedding dress.

Get some coffee. This is long.

You remember the part where I got the phone call to pick up my dress, right? I was excited -- so much so that I blogged about it AND posted it on my Facebook. I. was. excited.

Fast forward.

I get to the store, nervous for some odd reason, and march into the store to pick up my freakin' WEDDING dress(!!!). The women (mom & daughter boutique owners) ask me to wait a few minutes while their assistant is steaming it. As they walk by me (attending the other customer), they flash a big smile and ask "Are you excited?!?" to which I answer "yes!"

I sink back into the chairs and am in a kind of calm trance while I wait. My wedding dress. That's so nice. The daughter walks by again: "Sooo... are you excited?!?" --- "Yes! I'm very excited!" I must be sleepy, maybe that's why I don't look excited. They finish up with the last customer, I shut the "groom" book I was flipping through, and stand up as they rush over to me with excitement. "Let's try this baby on!!"

As the woman is helping me with the dress, she asks again. Oh YOU KNOW. "Are you excited?!" -- "Yes! I am! I really am." But now I'm starting to get a little irritated, as though my excitement is just not strong enough to be believed. They go on to tell me that it was featured on "Say Yes to the Dress" AND that the girl who was at the store when I tried it on 6 months ago, came in the NEXT DAY and bought the sample!

We put the dress on, and walk out to their little "bride stage" where you are elevated and surrounded by mirrors, to see your dress at every angle. It's overwhelming. And what is the first thing I say?

"Is this going to be steamed any more?" WOW. Why did I say that first?! The mom says "Oh yes, right now that's just so you can try it on out of the box. You should have seen it right out of the box." I realize what a stupid first question to ask, and then look up into the mirror. I suck in my breath.

I can't explain it. It's almost like it was too unreal to feel real. I'm trying to collect my thoughts, until that --- oh, yes, here it comes --- that phrase just squeezes my brain: "This is so exciting!! I think I'm more excited then you!!" -mom lady.

Excuse me?

First of all, why on earth would YOU be more excited then me? And really, can I have just ONE minute to let this soak in?!? I A M E X C I T E D. Geez!! I'm becoming LESS excited the MORE you ask me if I am!

Errrrg. Anyway, so I end up criticizing some of the beading work instead, and crap -- that just doesn't make this woman happy. My mouth is speaking before my brain approves of these statements!!! Why?! Because it's still trying to wrap around this idea that I'm not "EXCITED" enough.

It gets better. Grab yourself a drink.

I finally give myself a moment to look at the dress, and it is so beautifully overwhelming. AHH, I LOVE my dress!! At that moment, I was almost intimidated by it. I don't know why, but it was just so... powerful? I mean, come on, it's not just "a" wedding dress anymore, it's MY wedding dress! So then I mention to the woman that I wanted to try a birdcage veil with it on since I had been leaning towards that type of veil.

She makes this face. The one where your lips pucker UP, like your nose is smelling your upper lip and you discover is smells like a hard boiled egg. Ha. I don't know why your lip would smell like that, but my point is that she was making a "stinky" face. The "I-dont-agree-and-I-will-display-it-on-my-face" face.

"A birdcage veil?! *insert stinky face here* But if you wear a birdcage veil, it will be all about the veil. No honey, you need a long veil."

I was being nice. I thought "you know, maybe a long veil could be cute, and then maybe Jose will lift it up to kiss me" *smile*. She entertained my suggestion, err... wait, HA... entertained?! No, she grabbed a birdcage veil to PROVE that she was right. She put it on me (sloppily, mind you), and said "Look." Once it was secured, I LOVED it. But before I could enjoy it, she says "Well... it's not THAT bad." And her daughter, also making the upper-lip-egg-stinky-face says "I don't like it."

Simple as that. I don't like it.

So they pull it off, FREAKING pulls a single strand of hair despite me going "OWW." UGH, why didn't I slap somebody?! And she grabs this cathedral length, tulle, veil. I hate tulle. Anyway, she pulls my hair back in a ponytail and sticks the comb through my hair. It doesn't even cover my face! It just explodes behind my head towards the floor. She pulls the veil back with this sense of pride. Wait, let's call it excitement. Yes people, the woman was SO excited to put this veil on me! She may have been right, she was probably more excited than I was!

She then asks me to step off the platform, makes me hold my hands like I'm holding my bouquet, and asks me to "walk down the isle." Go ahead, roll your eyes. Mind you, this would all be a somewhat "cute" type of cheesy thing to do, but not when THEY are more excited about their ideas than YOU are!

I walk down my isle to meet... myself. I look at myself in the mirror, and I lied. I said "Wow.." and put on this fake smile. I didn't like it. Look at this veil:


source
How can you tell me that a birdcage veil would be "all about the veil" but THAT veil ^ would be (I quote her words:) "icing on the cake." If by icing, you mean spread on top of my dress to COVER it, then you're right -- it's freaking icing ON my cake! Did I tell you I'm not a fan of icing?! I'm not. To me, it should be about the cake. I want to TASTE the cake. Icing should ENHANCE the cake, not just be a cover-up. And even on this model, the bottom of her dress is simple. There's nothing wrong with this type of veil, with THAT type of dress. My dress is NOT simple, there is a LOT of intricate beading on it with a dramatic bottom, so it would make sense to keep the veil somewhat simple and not distracting. Honestly, I DO love long veils -- but with simple wedding gowns. Plus, I'm short and little!! This thing would swallow me!!!

Can you tell I'm irritated?! The thing is, I am COMPLETELY okay with suggestions. I love hearing people's ideas because I know that even if in my head I may picture it one way, someone else can enlighten me on why it may not be the best idea. However, when the first thing the person says is "I don't like it" -- why would I even WANT to tell you how I feel because you're obviously forcing your opinion on me.

This shouldn't even be this big of a deal, but they just busted my bubble on so many levels and left a bad taste in my mouth when I got my wedding dress. You don't even know what else they said.

The daughter turns to me and says "Have you lost weight?" My eyes grow wide, shocked at the question, and I say "No. Not at all." And she says "it kind of looks like it from here" and motions to her collar bone. I've always had a prominent collar bone. The mom then responds "you have lost weight. I can tell from your face." Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was completely wrong because OF COURSE she would know. I defend myself because a small person like me should not be losing weight and I have absolutely NOT lost weight. So then they bombard me with q's:

Them: Are you really stressed out?
Me: Nothing out of the ordinary, just every now and then..
Them: Have you been working out a lot?
Me: No! The opposite actually. I took a break from my salsa performance class to focus on the wedding & my photography for 2 months. I'm actually trying to force myself to get back on to being really active.
Them: So you have a hard time putting on weight?
Me: Yes! I actually eat quite a lot... it must be my metabolism. I've always been small though..
Them: Well, don't lose any more weight.

UGH! WTH?! Okay, how would you feel if I said "Okay, well, don't GAIN anymore weight." General Note to the Public: It is not okay to insult/harass petite/skinny people. Just because being overweight has more of a negative connotation to it, you can't go around harassing small people. Yes, if they look under-weight you can be concerned. And if you are a FRIEND you can ask them questions in case you think they're denying it. That's fine. I don't care if you tell me with disgust "Ugh, you're so small!!" because if I struggled with weight issues, and I knew someone could just eat their weight without worrying about gaining a thing, I'd be irritated too! I would even patronizingly say "Oh suuure, I would hate to be in THAT position." I'm grateful because I love food, but it doesn't mean I don't feel self-conscious when someone is INTERROGATING my diet or telling me I'm TOO small. I would never tell someone overweight or NOT "Have you been eating more lately? Have you stopped exercising??? Well, stop putting on the pounds!"

Sorry. Phew. So, there I stood, with a stupid tulle veil, feeling too skinny and not pretty. I went home, and when Jose's roommate made risotto, I asked him to pile it high on my plate.

I told the women at my work about it, and they just had me cracking up saying things like "Girl, if I was in there I would say 'Is this YOUR wedding?! No, okay, hand me the birdcage veil. THANK YOU'" "Don't let those nay-sayers get to you. You are going to be a stunning bride. You give us a picture of the veil you want and WE will make it for you." Awwww!! When I showed them a picture of my dress, they uplifted my spirits and gushed about how beautiful the dress is and how they can't wait to see it on me.

Needless to say, I have moved past that experience and am SO excited about my dress again! They suggested that I take a couple of my friends to a David's Bridal, and try on the veils there with my dress on so I can do it in "peace." Once I'm reassured of the veil, I will probably get it from the Etsy store I featured in the last post :)

Ha. That's the dress story. And you know, not every moment in wedding planning will be perfectly smooth (heck no!) OR necessarily what you idealized. However, it's about moving past your expectations and reassuring yourself that you have made good decisions thus far, so why should some grumpy women keep you sulking? And last, to remind yourself of the amazing people you're surrounded by that are ready to uplift you when you wanted to kick those grumpy people in the face who made you feel bad.

Special thanks to my cousin Melissa for answering my call when I needed to hear some positive thoughts! :) And thank YOU for sitting through my venting. Thank you for caring.
4 Responses
  1. Ellen Says:

    Oh my goodness - I am so sorry you had to go through that. Those women sound terrible & I can't believe they had the nerve to say some of what they said to you! I'm glad you're feeling good about the dress now though - I would hate for that experience to have competely ruined it for you!


  2. kitty j Says:

    OMG.....Ale hun....had I been there I would've pulled a Mama Nells with the snapping finger and head bobbing. "Well, excuse her for having better taste and more style." *helps you with a birdcage veil* then *evil glare at the ladies* ROFL

    I'm glad you're feeling better about it now. ^_^ Let me just emphasis you have awesome taste , ideas,and style; so you're for sure going to be a knockout bride.

    Man, now I really want to see you in your dress so I can go all "ooohhh....omg....gorgeous" cause I know I will. *flails* ^^

    <3 ya hun


  3. Jenn Says:

    Oh wow, can you say OVERBEARING?? Sounds like you are way more level-headed than a lot of other people would have been in that situation, kudos to you for keeping your cool! And it is YOUR wedding, that's all that matters! :)


  4. Ale Says:

    Ellen -- yes! I was pretty shocked at what they said!

    Jas- You and your flails CRACK me up!! Thank you for putting a smile on my face :) :) And I can't wait for you and Mama Nels to see it :) Love you!

    Jenn-- overbearing is RIGHT! Thanks for the kudos :) Hope to keep "level headed" when it's down to the last month!!