Imaginale Design

So tonight I announced it on my photoblog, but I will not link you there because I am going to be sharing it with you HERE. However, this post is very special to me because it will come from the words of my fiance.

And with that, blog world, here is my fiance. Be nice!:

Growing up, my parents made it very clear what was right and what was wrong:

"No jumping on the bed!"
"Always say 'Please' and 'Thank You'."
"Don't raise your voice with me, mister!"
"You can't have cookies if you don't finish your peas."
Right and wrong, good and evil - we learned these things growing up. And even if we don't learn them, we know them. We know them somewhere deep inside of who we are (notwithstanding certain shades of gray). That's so empowering, isn't it? We know what the right/wrong thing to do is and by knowing, we have the power to decide accordingly. Knowledge gives us the ability to make clear choices.

That's what I love about right and wrong. It makes decision making clean cut. You are either all right or all wrong like a true/false test - there's no partial credit. There's no subjectivity and no opinion. It is or isn't and you get to choose.

"But what about right and right?!" A good friend of mine offered that to me during our occasional lunches. "What if one decision is just as right as the other decision. What if there is no wrong decision?" So let me throw a little context around this: For those of you who have been keeping up with Ale, you no doubt have seen that she and I have had a huge decision to confront in recent days. I'm graduating! and with graduation comes change, specifically a new job. Over the past few months, that job has been narrowed from all over the US to one of two cities: Phoenix, AZ or Austin, TX. So you're probably thinking, "Well of course, Austin...that's the obvious choice." And you would be right probably 80% of the time, unless either you are a masochist for desert heat or have a passionate love for biomedical devices.

So now the dilemma: 80% of the people would choose Austin over Phoenix; 20% would choose Phoenix. But what do you get when you combine an 80%-er to a 20%-er? You get a really hard decision. Put rather bluntly, Ale wasn't sold on the whole Phoenix gig - she was very open to the idea, but far from sold. So what's a man to do? Take the job of your dreams and all of the consequences or tend to her desires and risk a lifetime of regret. I don't know if any guys are out there reading this, but let me give you a hint: Neither! At a crossroad like this, force is just as regrettable as passiveness. The only solution is communication (and prayer). And so I started down of logical path of rationale and consideration, searching for the right answer. Now back to our story.

No, no, no! No such thing as right and right. It's either black or white...and okay maybe I'll give some things a shade of gray, but there's definitely not right and right. One decision has to be better than the other! Okay, the offers are the same, but something else has to push it over the top. What about (1) Dream job (2) Cool arts scene (3) Weather (4) Family (5) Overall happiness (6) God's will ?! C'mon something has to push one over the other, right. It has to!

"No, one doesn't have to be right and one doesn't have to be wrong. They absolutely can both be right! Why's that so hard to believe?" Well, it's because we know how to handle right vs. wrong, but right vs. right strips away logic and reason. Knowledge no longer leads to clear cut decision, but rather leads to lists and charts of pros and cons which all have their pros and cons. Right vs. right is inherently a fuzzy arena and is undoubtedly driven by emotion and feeling. And on top of that, the results are ambiguous. At least in right and wrong, there are generally positive and negative consequences. But how do we decide which combination of positives is the best deal. So how can we possibly know right from right?

My same wise friend also told me this (paraphrased): "Sometimes God gives you two decisions, whose consequences are muddled and unknown, and he looks at you, crosses his arms and says 'Alright Jose, you're a big boy - so pull up your pants and make a decision'." And the best part about those moments is that we can rest assured knowing that whatever choice we make in that moment, it will absolutely not ruin God's plan in our lives! And even more, when we are faced with these kinds of choices - God also gives us peace as affirmation that we made a choice that he can work with and that he will work in.

So with all that said - what you guys have really been waiting for is the verdict, right? Well, here it is:

God has provided and blessed us in such a way, that we have determined that our future home will be in the glorious state of Arizona!!! So did I use my masterful logic and rationale to come to that decision and convince Ale that it was right? No. In fact, logic had very little to do with it. Like I said, deciphering right from right is less about logic and more about emotion. So no, there aren't piles of pros that outweighed Austin's cons. In fact, the two are still very close. But our hearts have led us to Phoenix and God has given us his approval. A hard pill to swallow, but once you do - a very liberating thought that we aren't powerful enough to ruin God's plan.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying and encouraging us through this time. You have been invaluable to making this decision easier. Also, thank you to my beautiful (soon to be) wife, who shines even more beautifully in moments like this. I love you all! Now that you come with us this far, follow us to Phoenix!!!

- Jose

And he argues with me that he's not a good writer. WRONG! Thank you love (and thank you for celebrating with church's fried chicken knowing that it's more for me than you ;). This weekend is my first official wedding shower! I will get to meet some lovely ladies from Jose's church that love him like a grandson. Now they'll get to meet the girl they've been hearing all about. Wish me luck! Don't want to come back with "what not to do when meeting people from your partner's childhood" ;) Happy Weekend!
3 Responses
  1. Meghan Says:

    YAY! I am so excited you went with Phoenix. It's going to be awesome, I just feel it.

    And you'll do just fine at the shower. Just compliment Jose a lot and talk about how great it is that he grew up with that church to give him the morals that made him the man you love today. =)

  2. Jenn Says:

    Congrats on your decision, aaaand yes, Jose IS a great writer! I'm sure it's a little scary moving someone different, but the fact that you have each other and God on your side, just look at is an adventure! Good luck this weekend too, you'll do great :)

  3. Ale Says:

    Thanks girls! It will definitely be an adventure :) I can't wait to see what God has planned for us..